Part 2

No, I haven’t forgotten about this list – and as life kicks my left butt, the gbas gbos on Nigeria clubhouse intensifies.

As I write this, a young lady cries in one of the discussion rooms; she says her job is threatened. People are actively calling her office to complain to her bosses with recordings of things she said at the clubhouse. She uses the word ‘blackmail’.

‘I am being blackmailed by y’all low down dirty bitches!’ she screams as she sniffles.

I never knew it was possible to have an insult in every sentence until I signed up on this App.

But I digress…

The Alpha Male

General Traits

He took a leaf from Kevin Samuel’s book and owned that shit. This Club has a room open 24 hours, every day of the week. One thing they have in abundance is time. For people who claim their target audience are ‘men’, it is amazing how all their discussions are about women. There may be some form of coordination between the owners of this club and ‘Miss Okpeke‘ as their topics of discussion are often in contrast with each other.

For example, ‘The Alpha Male’ created a room titled ‘Women in their mid 30’s should beg men to date them’, while ‘Miss Okpeke‘ had a room titled ‘why are 30+ men behaving like teenagers?’ So it is either they hold private meetings before creating these rooms in the public space or they both have fast fingers.

The Alpha male has an intense dislike for a group of men they call SIMPS – these are men who once in a while, would chyme in to tell them to tone down the insults or publicly pay compliments to women.

The Alpha male swears by his Grandfather’s grave, that he has never sent a direct message to any woman on the App. Who has time for that? When there is money to be made and an empire to be built. However, some of our inboxes say the opposite. I often wonder why they say these things with such boldness, while I wait for someone who has the time to spare and has a dress they are willing to sacrifice to the muddy waters, to speak up and give us a delightful show.

Popular Phrases

No SIMP is allowed in this room
Kings, there is money to be made, empires to be built
High-value men don’t ask women out
Submission is a MUST
She’s hardly a ‘5’

Known Enemies

SIMPs

Miss Okpeke

SIMPs

Natural Habitat

They mostly live in France, Lagos, Canada, Abuja, and Holland.

….To be contd.