The joggers that make you wonder if you are the only one who’s got a job. Do you see your life? You could have been in your sexy outfit, sweating it out on this bridge. But here you are, queuing to pay the government to use the road. The helicopters flying over the bridge, heading towards Victoria Island; the music they make, whose chorus scream MONEY. Yes, people do go to work in helicopters in…

Because the rise of women will mean your fall Because you will be falling from your throne of lordship to a position of equality Because you will have to get a paid maid now Because when you say you ‘slept’ with her, it means she ‘slept’ with you too Because I drink wine. Whatever, Jesus drank wine too Because we have better men who have long embraced the better life. You can die a caveman…

What do Saturday mornings sound like to you? To me, it means slouching on my favorite and only couch, clutching a book I have picked out for the weekend. Before Lagos weather comes back like a rash with its hostility and gets heated up and of course before my stomach starts to grumble, I like to get my morning orgasms; nothing is as orgasmic like a well-constructed, beautiful sentence. My heavens! I travel the world…

I just want to say two words. Just two words. Are you listening? ‘intense dislike’. I do not like hip hop. Well, because it sounds immature. Keep rolling your eyes, I hope you find the brain you are looking for. Don’t get me wrong, this is not stereotype transference. Given, these puerile 20-year olds with ugly looking tattoos and disfiguring body piercings, singing about women’s ass, rapping and aggrandizing the level of power they have,…